What they don’t teach you in school B: A new parampara guru-shishya

Today is Teachers’ Day, the birthday of second President Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, providing yet another excuse for many worthies to pass on gyan, an activity they practice almost every day anyway. But instead of the usual perfectly empty homilies, or the equally usual groans about the dismal student-teacher ratio, the quality of school and university education, etc., etc., we thought it more appropriate for you prepare to negotiate with the teachers among you, even if they are not necessarily professional, think that they always give you lessons.

Here are some things you need to do to deal with it:

Makkhan maro: Make them think that they are indeed wise beings, at the cost of their illusion.

GIGO: Take the “Garbage in garbage out” model of listening to their gyan and then letting it out the other ear.

Quote them back: Nothing will make these gyanis (temporarily) silent as effectively as when you quote their own words to them. Making quotes and attributing them will also do the trick.

Tel holder: While adding ‘sir’ and ‘madam’ each time you address them after their names are de rigueur, there’s no harm in taking it up a notch by adding an ‘O’ also in front their name, calling them things like ‘visionary’ and ‘supreme’ Being the teacher’s pet is understandably frowned upon. But fortunately not when everyone is fighting for this position.

Good luck.